im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
