Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
