Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
