Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
