yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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