your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
