You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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