I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
