Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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