We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
