its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
