So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
