The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
