he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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