I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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