My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
