ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
