dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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