The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize