I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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