Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
