how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
