Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.

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(916): View more from California

Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.

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(530): View more from California

Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.

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(407): View more from Florida

Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights

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(503): View more from Oregon

Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.

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(765): View more from Indiana

If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement

(1-765): View more from Indiana

Yes, an arrangement called marriage

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