At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize