In the future we'll all be gay
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
