if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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