i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
