I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
