i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
