So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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