clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
