Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
