man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
