i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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