I wish i was in the wii world.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize