No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My hand turned me down
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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