You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
