So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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