Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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