thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
