So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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