How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
