I heard we made out
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I want to have your abortion
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
