he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
