Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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