Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
