I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I got chris browned last night
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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