I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
