I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
