im about as happy as oj after his trial
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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