I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
