I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
