Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize