My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Drake has all the answers
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
