I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
