Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
