Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
