Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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