I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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