If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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