The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
