Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
