Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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