I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
