Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
